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benefit of hindsight

When I was the villain in someone’s life story!

January 17, 2020February 12, 2020 / muktimasih / Leave a comment

I could have chosen to be the bigger person. But I didn't.

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Travel stories

I was living extravagantly. And living like that wasn't the exception, it was the rule. Buying more clothes than I needed, splurging on food buffets, stress eating, wasting food, buying a new iPhone on the first sign of repair - everything a luxury. The list is long. And look where it has got me. As the deathtoll worldwide reaches 16,000 today, I feel terrible. I feel terrible for the elderly and the weak, and I feel so helpless to help them. What makes me angry is that I contributed in the pandemic directly or indirectly. The novel Corono Virus COVID-19 is one of the MANY outbreaks to come. Remember those forest fires that the mainstream media didn't cover last year but it circulated for 20 days on social media? Remember those images of burnt Koalas from Australia last year? These were just a few of the MANY atrocities we inflicted on the planet. It finally caught up with us. Here's why COVID-19 is one of the MANY more to come - 1] Climate change has changed our bodies: Global warming has transformed our bodies as a breeding ground of viruses. Our bodies were NOT created for this kind of warm planet that we have converted the Earth into. 2] We have become closer to jungles by cutting trees: Our greed for more food, more variety, more clothes has made companies mercilessly cut down trees. We have become dangerously closer to the 'remote and unknown' parts of the jungle. These parts have unknown bacteria and viruses we aren't equipped to deal with. If you haven't watched Global Health Expert Alanna Sheikh's TED Talk on Corona Virus, please do. As for me, I have resolved to live a little less selfishly than before. I have resolved to reach out and help in whatever way I can. I have resolved to pray more and repent more. Has my faith in God wavered? Not at all. Has it become stronger? I hope it has. I know God is merciful and forgiving. I have just resolved to not take the grace for granted. How can I doubt a God who has led me through life's toughest paths? I am sure He will help us through this pandemic too. As the Psalmist says (in Psalm 27:1) - The Lord is my light and my salvation, who shall I fear? . . . . #pandemic2020 #covid19 #hope #bible

Exactly today a year ago, we were about to reach Thimphu from Phuentsholing on a classic Royal Enfield. Both Abhishek and I agree that we enjoyed the rides more than the destinations we were on. Bhutan has its charms sure but the joys we experienced while getting to each city seem now so unreal. The challenges while riding pushed us, especially Abhishek as he geared up to ride the highways every single day. There were times when we were the only people on the road. I sang hymns that only God heard and I was thankful that we got to experience God’s presence so closely and personally during that time. . . . . . #travelblogger #bhutandiaries #asia #travelgram #shotoniphone

There he was, back in the Dzong again. This time I pretended like I didn’t see him. I kept walking. He was busy tying his shoe-lace so I picked up pace. But it was as if he now knew even my footsteps. He looked up suddenly and smiled. Even though I acted like I didn’t see the magnificent piece of a smile piercing my heart, I stopped abruptly. What was it about him? The smile or the persistence? Or just the fact that I envied his undying, unconditional faith in a personal God. He often had questions about the path of salvation through meditation and praying for others. He just refused to believe that humans were capable of creating collective energy and send it to the universe. And if humans were so superior, who created them? Why humans were not anything like any other creature? His questions disturbed me. But his audacity just cut through my heart strings and I always ended up obliging him. He looked a bit solemn today. He told me about some human virus that had been claiming lives lately. He was now talking about death. Why do humans find it hard to accept the inevitability of death? Why is death still the single most puzzle that remains unsolved? Who controls this cycle? He asked me. And why were some monks saying that the sins of the world were catching up with humanity. God is loving - he said this with such certainty that for once I actually believed it. And it hurt me because that wasn’t how I saw it. But how did I see it? Spending 40 years in the monastery taught me to believe in good karma and the re-birth of every human. But why do I fear death? Why has sickness bothered me often? It’s like my heart longs for a superior entity. It’s emotional and spiritual and all things tender. Was it why that I resented and yet loved this rebellious believer of God? I envied the certainty of his faith, the personal confidence that he showed when He discussed the possibility of a creator. It excited him. And it left me with a longing - a longing to know how and why this creator made me? Was I just a mass creation or did He create me with some thought or a concept in mind? . . . . #fiction #faithoverfear #storytimethreads

He could spot the extraordinary from the mundane. But often rebuked for being so absent-minded, so distracted. He found these labels strange because he really liked listening to stories - not fables - but the vivid descriptions of people’s experiences, their side of the situation, their version of the stories. He loved seeing - seeing how some eyes lit up in excitement when a thrilling turn happened in their story. He loved hearing - hearing the giggles when someone shared the funny details in their story. He felt like people looked prettier when they told stories about themselves, or about their experiences, even their sorrows. Most people, he knew, were just looking for beholders, cheerleaders or listeners to go by every day. So he decided to be cheer leaders for them, heck what’s there to decide? He just was the cheer leader anyway. He liked being that because it was only when he truly listened to people that he felt significant. . . . . #storytimethreads #storytelling #travelgram #fictionwriter #travelblogger #shillong

Often when we can’t find solutions to problems, we find distractions. First two weeks of January, I had grandly piled up a lot of unresolved personal issues. I distracted myself from facing them and that was a miserable start of the year. Untill I finally decided to open up and talk to God about them and eventually with my family. The day I changed my attitude was the day things started to work out one after another. God showed me that His plans are better in the last two months. He took me to places I had never imagined and constantly displayed how much He valued and loved me. In the midst of this, I felt constantly encouraged by a bunch of wise and caring friends, and I felt closer to family. I don’t want any of God’s blessings to go unnoticed. This is one such occasion when my cup is overflowing with God’s enduring goodness. I was interviewed by a Medium publication recently that got published yesterday. Do check out the link in Bio. Picture courtesy: @abhishekmasih . . . #christianity #writersofinstagram ##writerscommunity #lifelessonslearned

I am reading Bhutan is considering to impose entrance fee on Indians. Out of roughly 2,00,000 tourists who enter Bhutan every year, around 1,00,000 are Indians, according to a report. But more than the number, what’s bothering the Bhutanese government is many of these tourists over stay their stay period, and some of us recently have disrespected several Bhutanese monasteries. It’s indeed outrageous. And while I agree that all Indians must not be generalised based on a few, there must be some discipline. As human beings, we are defiant. It’s inherent, it’s human. We have a tendency of taking things for granted. Indians are no exceptions. This is why we need discipline. There’s nothing offensive about it. I am also thankful for the times when I feel God is correcting me. I feel hurt, helpless, even wounded and in despair. But then I look for lessons, I ask God what He is trying to teach me in this pain. I hate the correction process, but I love the outcome. . . . . . . #lifelessons #bhutan #bhutantravel #bhutanese #travelgram #travellessons

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Most loved

Thank God for books like 'Little Women'
I would rather
Tiger's Nest continues to haunt me
Men who are nice to waiters
22 matter-of-facts for singles on Valentine's Day
Have heart. Will ache.
When I was the villain in someone's life story!
Until I heard your song again

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I was living extravagantly. And living like that wasn't the exception, it was the rule. Buying more clothes than I needed, splurging on food buffets, stress eating, wasting food, buying a new iPhone on the first sign of repair - everything a luxury. The list is long. And look where it has got me. As the deathtoll worldwide reaches 16,000 today, I feel terrible. I feel terrible for the elderly and the weak, and I feel so helpless to help them. What makes me angry is that I contributed in the pandemic directly or indirectly. The novel Corono Virus COVID-19 is one of the MANY outbreaks to come. Remember those forest fires that the mainstream media didn't cover last year but it circulated for 20 days on social media? Remember those images of burnt Koalas from Australia last year? These were just a few of the MANY atrocities we inflicted on the planet. It finally caught up with us. Here's why COVID-19 is one of the MANY more to come - 1] Climate change has changed our bodies: Global warming has transformed our bodies as a breeding ground of viruses. Our bodies were NOT created for this kind of warm planet that we have converted the Earth into. 2] We have become closer to jungles by cutting trees: Our greed for more food, more variety, more clothes has made companies mercilessly cut down trees. We have become dangerously closer to the 'remote and unknown' parts of the jungle. These parts have unknown bacteria and viruses we aren't equipped to deal with. If you haven't watched Global Health Expert Alanna Sheikh's TED Talk on Corona Virus, please do. As for me, I have resolved to live a little less selfishly than before. I have resolved to reach out and help in whatever way I can. I have resolved to pray more and repent more. Has my faith in God wavered? Not at all. Has it become stronger? I hope it has. I know God is merciful and forgiving. I have just resolved to not take the grace for granted. How can I doubt a God who has led me through life's toughest paths? I am sure He will help us through this pandemic too. As the Psalmist says (in Psalm 27:1) - The Lord is my light and my salvation, who shall I fear? . . . . #pandemic2020 #covid19 #hope #bible

Exactly today a year ago, we were about to reach Thimphu from Phuentsholing on a classic Royal Enfield. Both Abhishek and I agree that we enjoyed the rides more than the destinations we were on. Bhutan has its charms sure but the joys we experienced while getting to each city seem now so unreal. The challenges while riding pushed us, especially Abhishek as he geared up to ride the highways every single day. There were times when we were the only people on the road. I sang hymns that only God heard and I was thankful that we got to experience God’s presence so closely and personally during that time. . . . . . #travelblogger #bhutandiaries #asia #travelgram #shotoniphone

There he was, back in the Dzong again. This time I pretended like I didn’t see him. I kept walking. He was busy tying his shoe-lace so I picked up pace. But it was as if he now knew even my footsteps. He looked up suddenly and smiled. Even though I acted like I didn’t see the magnificent piece of a smile piercing my heart, I stopped abruptly. What was it about him? The smile or the persistence? Or just the fact that I envied his undying, unconditional faith in a personal God. He often had questions about the path of salvation through meditation and praying for others. He just refused to believe that humans were capable of creating collective energy and send it to the universe. And if humans were so superior, who created them? Why humans were not anything like any other creature? His questions disturbed me. But his audacity just cut through my heart strings and I always ended up obliging him. He looked a bit solemn today. He told me about some human virus that had been claiming lives lately. He was now talking about death. Why do humans find it hard to accept the inevitability of death? Why is death still the single most puzzle that remains unsolved? Who controls this cycle? He asked me. And why were some monks saying that the sins of the world were catching up with humanity. God is loving - he said this with such certainty that for once I actually believed it. And it hurt me because that wasn’t how I saw it. But how did I see it? Spending 40 years in the monastery taught me to believe in good karma and the re-birth of every human. But why do I fear death? Why has sickness bothered me often? It’s like my heart longs for a superior entity. It’s emotional and spiritual and all things tender. Was it why that I resented and yet loved this rebellious believer of God? I envied the certainty of his faith, the personal confidence that he showed when He discussed the possibility of a creator. It excited him. And it left me with a longing - a longing to know how and why this creator made me? Was I just a mass creation or did He create me with some thought or a concept in mind? . . . . #fiction #faithoverfear #storytimethreads

He could spot the extraordinary from the mundane. But often rebuked for being so absent-minded, so distracted. He found these labels strange because he really liked listening to stories - not fables - but the vivid descriptions of people’s experiences, their side of the situation, their version of the stories. He loved seeing - seeing how some eyes lit up in excitement when a thrilling turn happened in their story. He loved hearing - hearing the giggles when someone shared the funny details in their story. He felt like people looked prettier when they told stories about themselves, or about their experiences, even their sorrows. Most people, he knew, were just looking for beholders, cheerleaders or listeners to go by every day. So he decided to be cheer leaders for them, heck what’s there to decide? He just was the cheer leader anyway. He liked being that because it was only when he truly listened to people that he felt significant. . . . . #storytimethreads #storytelling #travelgram #fictionwriter #travelblogger #shillong

Often when we can’t find solutions to problems, we find distractions. First two weeks of January, I had grandly piled up a lot of unresolved personal issues. I distracted myself from facing them and that was a miserable start of the year. Untill I finally decided to open up and talk to God about them and eventually with my family. The day I changed my attitude was the day things started to work out one after another. God showed me that His plans are better in the last two months. He took me to places I had never imagined and constantly displayed how much He valued and loved me. In the midst of this, I felt constantly encouraged by a bunch of wise and caring friends, and I felt closer to family. I don’t want any of God’s blessings to go unnoticed. This is one such occasion when my cup is overflowing with God’s enduring goodness. I was interviewed by a Medium publication recently that got published yesterday. Do check out the link in Bio. Picture courtesy: @abhishekmasih . . . #christianity #writersofinstagram ##writerscommunity #lifelessonslearned

I am reading Bhutan is considering to impose entrance fee on Indians. Out of roughly 2,00,000 tourists who enter Bhutan every year, around 1,00,000 are Indians, according to a report. But more than the number, what’s bothering the Bhutanese government is many of these tourists over stay their stay period, and some of us recently have disrespected several Bhutanese monasteries. It’s indeed outrageous. And while I agree that all Indians must not be generalised based on a few, there must be some discipline. As human beings, we are defiant. It’s inherent, it’s human. We have a tendency of taking things for granted. Indians are no exceptions. This is why we need discipline. There’s nothing offensive about it. I am also thankful for the times when I feel God is correcting me. I feel hurt, helpless, even wounded and in despair. But then I look for lessons, I ask God what He is trying to teach me in this pain. I hate the correction process, but I love the outcome. . . . . . . #lifelessons #bhutan #bhutantravel #bhutanese #travelgram #travellessons

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